Cantina Talk: Star Wars: Episode VIII Will Be Weird
It’s not every fandom that gets its own sushi, but Star Wars is special that way. It’s also special in that it has a fandom that spends $5,000 to demand restoration of byzantine continuity beloved of a small subset of the audience. But you take the good with the bad in such things, I guess. For everyone who doesn’t really care about the revival of the old Expanded Universe, here is a nice roundup of stories from the Star Wars universe that actually exists.
J.J. Abrams Says Too Much About Rey’s Parents
Source: Abrams himself during a public appearance
Probability of Accuracy: Completely true, unless he just misspoke.
The Real Deal: During an appearance at the Tribeca Film Festival, Star Wars: The Force Awakens director J.J. Abrams let an unexpected piece of information slip, telling the audience, “Rey’s parents are not in [Force Awakens]. So I can’t possibly at this moment tell you who they are.” Wait. Not in the movie? So there goes the idea that she’s Luke’s daughter… Or does it? Because, soon afterwards, Abrams walked the statement back to Entertainment Weekly by saying “What I meant was that she doesn’t discover them in Episode VII. Not that they may not already be in her world.” Was that a genuine clarification, or an attempt to obscure giving away a plot point that Rian Johnson and/or Lucasfilm was hoping to use to promote Episode VIII? We likely won’t know until Rey’s parentage is finally revealed, whenever that is.
Has the Script to Episode VIII Leaked?
Source: Reddit, of all places
Probability of Accuracy: Almost certainly fake. And yet…
The Real Deal: And what if Episode VIII reveals the truth about Rey’s parents and it’s absolutely mind-bendingly weird? Over on Reddit, one poster claimed to have read the screenplay for the next chapter in the saga and offered a lot of crazy spoilers. In the extremely unlikely chance these are true, those who want to ensure they stay unspoiled for Episode VIII might want to skip to the next item.
Still here? OK, here’s the short version: The movie will be called Echoes of the Dark Side, and it’ll reveal that Luke isn’t Rey’s father after all. How? Why? Because Rey is the Force-fathered reincarnation of Anakin Skywalker. Oh, and Leia takes charge of the Republic just in time for her, Finn, and Poe to be captured by Kylo Ren and the First Order, setting up a last-minute rescue in the following movie.
This whole thing sounds very unlikely. The Rey reveal alone makes it seem very fake, but let’s be honest; if someone summarized The Phantom Menace before you’d seen it, you’d have a similar response—
—so who knows?
Episode VIII Is Going to Be Weird, Part II
Source: Poe Dameron himself
Probability of Accuracy: It’s all so vague and subjective that we’ll just say, sure, entirely accurate.
The Real Deal: Potentially adding to the possibility of that leaked script being genuine, Oscar Isaac has been talking up the strangeness of his next Star Wars movie, telling the Los Angeles Times that he agrees with an earlier comment by Lawrence Kasdan that director Rian Johnson was “going to make some weird thing.”
“Rian is definitely going to places and investigating things that haven’t really been done in the Star Wars universe,” Isaac said. “For me, it’s so fun getting to explore different things that I wouldn’t have expected in this universe. In some ways it feels like we’re making an independent film. Certain things we get to play with—the kind of intimacy that we get to find—it’s special. It’s been really fun.”
So, how bizarre could the movie really get? As weird as that leaked script? Surely not. Right?
Meet Your New Han Solo (Probably)
Source: Online reports
Probability of Accuracy: Take with a grain of salt. But, at this point, just a grain.
The Real Deal: If Deadline is to be believed, only one actor remains on Lucasfilm’s list to play the young Han Solo in the 2018 standalone movie about the character’s early days as a space pirate: Alden Ehrenreich, aka Hobie Doyle in Hail, Caesar!.
Ehrenreich’s name has repeatedly popped up in rumors and reports during the casting process, so it’s no surprise that he’s ended up as the last man standing. And hey, if we have to have someone pretend to be a young Harrison Ford, at least it’s not going to be Miles Teller. (Hey-o!)
Darth Vader Will Have a Marvel Connection In Rogue One
Source: Internet rumor
Probability of Accuracy: Well, it doesn’t sound unlikely.
The Real Deal: It’s been rumored that Rogue One: A Star Wars Story would include a Darth Vader cameo for some time. This only seems logical since the story takes place in the era when Vader was ascendant and in charge of the project the movie revolves around. But Flickering Myth took the rumor one step further recently, reporting that Spencer Wilding will take over from David Prowse as the physical actor for the role in the movie, with James Earl Jones expected to provide his voice one more time. Wilding’s name won’t be familiar, but you’ve seen him before: He’s that big dude in Guardians of the Galaxy who tries on Star-Lord’s headphones without permission. If nothing else, he’s got the size right.