Nobody likes body-shaming, and we certainly don’t need this year’s presidential election to get even less dignified. But when life-sized* naked Donald Trump statues mysteriously appear in cities around the country, well, we have to firmly point it out.

Trump, after all, actually discussed the size of his penis in a debate. His candidacy is full of retrograde machismo. The New York City Parks Department clearly thought the same thing when it issued this statement about the removal of a statue from Union Square Park:


It remains unclear whether the artists who thrust these statues upon the world committed a crime. It probably depends on the penile code in the various cities. Maybe they’re illegal in New York but not in LA or San Francisco; it’s not a urethtra-or situation. They could just get banned from future art events, either temporarily or spermanently. And nobody would want to make some federal-level determination about the law. Then it turns into a whole prostates-rights issue, and you just know the artists would end up getting the shaft. That’s the answer when someone says, “take it down or leave it up, what’s the vas deferens?”

Meanwhile, New Yorkers don’t get to glans at Trump anymore. But in San Francisco, the one in the Castro district is apparently still standing at attention—good news for Castrati. For the governments in other cities, the ball’s in their court. Be careful though—give ’em and inch and they’ll take a foot. We’ll have to wait to see what they do. Scrotum if you got ’em, folks.


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Naked Trump Statues Swing Into Action