T-Mobile slams Verizon with a jealous Nicki Minaj – CNET
Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that’s taken over our lives.
I somehow can’t imagine Nicki Minaj cuddling with a nice boy called Steven.
Thankfully, T-Mobile has done it for me. But it’s not a wonderful relationship.
The pink provider has just released an ad in which a nice boy called Steven is cheating on the great singer and actor.
Honestly, he’d be fortunate to pick a stray thread from her skirt off the floor.
This ad, though, takes things to extremes. Steven is cheating on Minaj with Ghostface Chillah.
Yes, he thinks he can get away with canoodling up to the Snapchat ghost, as well as to one of the world’s most glamorous personalities.
Steven is in a restaurant, chillin’ with the Chillah. In walks Minaj. She’s not happy.
It’s not what it looks like, of course. Oh yes?
She knows he’s been streaming her videos all morning. And now this.
Steven explains that he’s just Snapping. Then he offers a weak-willed excuse.
“It’s not you, it’s me,” you think? No, worse. “It’s not you, it’s Verizon,” he whimpers.
Try that one next time you’re in a two-timing pickle.
“They limit my data,” Steven stammers. “I had to choose.”
Steven is a manifest twerp. He would choose Snapchat over Nicki Minaj? In which case he’d choose Facebook over Beyoncé and MySpace over RuPaul or even Rand Paul.
Verizon didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment on its alleged role in breaking up Steven and Nicki.
T-Mobile, though, clearly believes that its T-Mobile One offer of unlimited data will create an atmosphere of love for so many. I worry that unconditional love requires more than unlimited data.
Compatibility, for example. Personally, I think Steven and Nicki were doomed from the start. Please, just gaze at him. He looks like a Google product manager.