It’s been a full seven days since the last time we did this, and I think we can all agree we’re happy Halloween didn’t launch us into a month of hauntings and ghouls ruling the Earth for another year in the meantime. Of course, judging by some of the things that have been happening on the Internet during those seven days, you might feel differently. This time around, we tackle the big questions: Does Ben Carson know who built the pyramids in Egypt? Is the Internet real? And are you a Muggle or a No-Maj? These, my friend, are the highlights of the last week on the web that you might have missed.

There’s Been an Entitlement … Can You Feel It?

What Happened: Apparently, the very possibility of leaving “Slave Leia” in the past is enough to get Star Wars fans excited, in both positive and negative ways.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: Bad news, fanboys: that masturbatory fantasy you’ve had for the last three decades might no longer be exploited commercially. A strange thing happened this week, as a rumor with almost no sourcing went viral, striking fear into the hearts of a surprising amount of people when it was suggested that Princess Leia’s “slave” outfit from Star Wars: Episode VI—Return of the Jedi wouldn’t be part of Disney’s Star Wars merchandise plans anymore.

It was comic book artist J. Scott Campbell, who has drawn some covers for Marvel’s Star Wars comic books, who got the whole thing rolling, commenting on a Facebook post that Disney was “already well on its way to wiping out the ‘slave’ outfit from any future products period,” referring to the “slave” costume worn by Carrie Fisher’s Princess Leia in 1983’s Return of the Jedi. “You will NOT see [any] future merchandising featuring the slave outfit ever again.” In a second comment, he said that he’d “heard it from two sources,” adding, “We can’t even draw Leia in a sexy pose at Marvel, let alone in that outfit!”

The comments were picked up by fan site Making Star Wars, and before long had spread to all corners of the Internet.

While the Internet reeled from shock (and struggled to come up with think pieces), the contrarians chimed in…

… and Campbell notably tried to distance himself from his own rumor:

So, is this happening or not? Disney and Lucasfilm won’t be drawn in on the topic, so let’s file it away as a “maybe, possibly, probably not” until then.

The Takeaway: If nothing else, at least this furor has brought the suggestion of renaming the outfit “Slayer Leia” to more people’s attentions.

Political Science

What Happened: Ben Carson, now the frontrunner to be the Republican candidate in the upcoming presidential race, had a very interesting week.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: If presidential elections were determined by the amount of chatter on social media, then former brain surgeon Ben Carson would have it in the bag right about now. In addition to his amazing rap advertisement to reach black voters, this week also brought forward the revelation that Carson believes the pyramids in Egypt were built by Joseph from the Bible as grain storage units, and Carson’s continued attempts to convince people that he really did stab someone when he was younger. Where do we even start?

Of course, the media had a great time with all of this.

The Takeaway: Based on this evidence, the Democrats really need to step up their game. Can Bernie Sanders suddenly declare a lifelong belief in UFOs or something?

Goodbye to All That (Kind Of)

What Happened: A minor Internet celebrity rages against the machine by “quitting” social media and declaring it all fake, but was that fake, as well?

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: It’s very possible that you hadn’t heard of Essena O’Neill before this week. She’s the self-proclaimed “Instagram star” who went mainstream earlier this week when she shockingly declared that social media wasn’t real.

However, for all the plaudits that announcement received initially, it wasn’t long before the backlash arrived. (Quickly followed, of course, by the backlash to the backlash.)

Things weren’t helped by O’Neill, who almost immediately returned to the Internet to ask for money while launching her new online persona with a site called “Let’s Be Game Changers.” Does this mean she’s a fraud, or just someone who’s undergoing a very public change of heart?

The Takeaway: The question of O’Neill’s authenticity isn’t one that’s going to be answered to anyone’s satisfaction anytime soon, but it’s definitely sparked a conversation about what social media is for. Expect this one to run and run.

The Fault In Our Stars

What Happened: Twitter changed the way users could favorite other people’s tweets this week. It was apparently the end of the world.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: Twitter made a small change to its interface this week:

Yup, apparently favorites were problematic, and the old system of marking them with a star has been replaced by liking things with a heart. We know why Twitter did it, but how did the change go down on Twitter itself?

Yeah, that went well—and that’s even before you get to the think pieces. Don’t worry, though; you can always replace the heart with the emoji of your choice, if it’s that offensive.

The Takeaway: This pretty much says it all:

No No-Maj

What Happened: Turns out, Harry Potter fans are very, very attached to thinking of themselves as “Muggles.” Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces What Really Happened: As part of the promotion for next year’s Harry Potter prequel Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Entertainment Weekly revealed this week that the new movie, which takes place in 1920s New York, will replace the word “Muggle”—the fan-favorite term for non-magical humans in the series—with “No-Maj,” short for “no magic.” This was not a popular decision.

Just wait until people find out that J.K. Rowling has created an entirely new language that every character in the movie will speak, with fans having to either learn the language or spend the movie reading subtitles.

The Takeaway: Maybe the fans are looking at it the wrong way…

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While You Were Offline: That Week When Ben Carson Insisted He Tried to Stab Someone