Did you know that among the Circle of Hats, the fedora is by far the biggest pariah?

If a fedora was personified, he’d be that surly dude at the bar who smirks insufferably while pew pewing his finger guns at unlucky passersby. He’s a specific specimen, completely unaware that his life goal of chasing sophistication ironically makes him anything but.

He’s Ryan Seacrest.

For years, the allure of the hat somehow sold the idea that it makes a man more interesting than he actually is, a ploy to make others think the wearer is low-key sexy.

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Your fedora hat is making all of your friends sad